thegood-stuff-deactivated201201 asked: i'm so happy someone else thinks of dancing as an addiction, i got so excited when i read that lol
I’m such a bitch if I don’t dance everyday. No joke. I’m glad to meet someone that is the same way lol.
If you ever need to talk, I’m always here. I went to an adult jazz class (18 and older, but I was invited to come for when I was depressed) On thursday and unfortunately I left my jacket on. It was a punishment but a relief. A relief because I didn’t want any of my friends moms to see my scars and I wad covered but it was a punishment because dancing with a jacket was hard and uncomfortable. Well anyway I wouldn’t have minded if it was just my friends mom, one of my oldest best friend, and my dance teacher. But it wasn’t. So after class my mom had forgotten me and I stayed after class for like an hour with Alyssa and Liza. And we typically have the oddest conversations after class. Some of the best (and some of the only) social time I get. That made me feel instantly better, talking about feet, teaching classes, Maroon 5, the 4th, ringtones, pointe, the company, the choreography intensive, needles, the dentist, cookies. And I think the best part is that I am the youngest (15) then Alyssa (20) and then Liza (and I will not put her age) and I think the coolest part of all of this is that I’ve got wonderful friends that are not my age, or maybe they act like my older sister and mom but more like best friends (think Gilmore Girls). Anyway their pretty much my family. Well Alyssa offered to talke me home so after getting in the car, I peel off my sweaty jacket. She asked why I had it on and I just showed her. She asked if just got real fursturated or nervous and why (oh before I go on she’s in college becoming a physiology major) so she was pretty interested in me. Then I told her that I did it whenk I was having a mental breakdown and when I lose it. I know it’s stupid now but at the time it I guess feel like it’s the only way out. Before we got my house I put on my jacket and she said “Oh, so your parents don’t know?” I told her no they didn’t but they wouldn’t really notice and if they did I would get in trouble for doing it. I saw her face when I put on my jacket, she was coming to the realization that I wasn’t just some person to question for a physiology experiment but a friend. And then she shared with me some of her ideas, and experiences (that I would never share on tumblr because who knows who could see it) and she had said my favorite words: “If you ever need to talk, I’m always here.” then I said thanks with a smile and ran into the house. Then later… I had to go over to my dads to pick up a few things and my mom went outside. So I called Liza, and we talked about how I talked to Alyssa and felt better (all Liza knew was that I was really depressed) she said good, and then she told me that we would be a good support system for each other. Then I said: “I’m assuming you know why I had my jacket on the whole class?” she said: “because, you were cold?” I said no. Then I said it was to hide scars. Then she told me that I needed to get that checked with a doctor. I agree, and then we got into how I was just going crazy because of my parents. Then. She gave me the best advice I’ve heard in a long while: “Brooke! Stop caring about your parents! You need to do what’s best for you, and your parents can deal with it. And if they can’t you’ve got plenty of people that love you at the studio.” After all of the advice she said she was going to call me tomorrow and she said that I better have a plan as to how I was going to see a doctor and who I was going to tell. So we did the okay, thanks for being there for me, I love you, talk to you tomorrow thing. I go home to my moms house, then I was looking online for somewhere to go. Then I had questions how was I going to tell me parents, did I want to, how was I going to pay for it, how was I going to get to the office. So I called Liza again asking her everything then she said that I could take my health insurence card, Alyssa could drive me (not Liza because if my parents got mad, they could take away dance so it was best for Alyssa to take me) she said call them in the morning and see about setting up an appointment and she said to stay calm and call me in the morning. She also said she was proud of me for doing this. She also said if I’m ever not available she said call Alyssa, she’d help me in a heartbeat (apparently they had talked after I got off the phone with Liza) then I felt better knowing I had a way to do this. So I skype Mikalea till 3 AM. Poor kid, she was loopy from surgery. Then I call therapy offices the next day, I couldn’t get in because I was a minor. I probably called five to seven doctors. Ugh, so then I called my doctor. And I told the lady my story about what happened. She then gave the phone to a nurse and let me get an appointment… FINALLY! So happy they said that I did have to tell my parents that I had a appointment and they would have to take me. So I had to call my dad, and tell him that I was depressed and I got an appointment with my own doctor also a wellness check up. After he chewed me out, he agreed to take me. So I called Liza and told her a got an appointment. And that my dad just knows that I am depressed. I swear she was jumping up and down for me because I’m getting help. Then I said I’m probably I’m going to get in trouble because of this. She said bull shit who cares. Then she was like: “You’re doing it again, you’re caring about your parents and not yourself.” she said next time they piss you off I have her permission to leave. She told me that she was happy for me and glad that I’ve taken many steps forward in less than twenty four hours. This is why I love my dance studio. Anyway The people that know is Liza, Alyssa, and Mikaela. I love them. Sorry for any typos. I’m on an iPad, my computer has a virus. :(
Anonymous asked: TALK TO ME SOS!!!
Oh my goodness I’m fine!
Whoever said crying should make you feel better was a fucking liar.
kathysmalls asked: laugh-kathysmalls.tumblr
spunkylashes asked: your blog is so beautiful! i love how you have themes and stuff for your pictures :) how'd you come up with that idea?
I’m not really sure how I came up with it. I think it was when I started to reblog a ton of stuff and then I realized that I rebloged a bunch of the same stuff, so I organized it… Or maybe anal about things… I haven’t decided which one though. And thanks! :)